I just need to find a reason
To be able to jump out of bed and shout “goddamn, I’m so happy I could scream!” Because I think if I could do that, it’d be okay.
I want, just once, to be in an intimate moment and have no concerns about what I look like, what he thinks of me, what I’m doing there, what I will say in the morning, what he’ll tell his friends, what I’ll tell myself if he doesn’t call in the morning, what he’ll pretend to want from me, what he’ll think about my inability to control my noise level when I am in the act of enjoyable sexual activities, how I might romanticize this moment for the rest of my life, how I might regret the act once it is done, how he might think my body moves out of tempo, how I might not like his tempo, how there might be absolutly no good reason why I should be there with him at all except that this song happens to be on and it makes me loose all defenses. I want, one day, to turn some music on, turn the lights down low, and truly loose control with someone. This one song almost makes me feel like maybe someday I could
Love Is the Drug
Laying in my window, smoking a cigarette. A minivan drives by. Probably carrying a mother and hher children. Children that she hopes don’t grow up to be like me.
Maybe I’m addicted, maybe I’m not so strong. I thought I had all the control, but maybe I was wrong. One look and I know its true, I’ve lost it all, given it to you. Maybe I shouldn’t have let this start, I’ve got a stupid, twisted heart.
I don’t like
How I give myself up so easily. Emotionally, that is. It doesn’t take long for me to fall hard. All someone has to do is be nice to me, or just pretend to be nice to me, and I’m done. Especially boys. I used to be so good at putting up that wall and keeping everyone out, but then it’s like as soon as one person got in everything crumbled and left me wide open. It’s like everyone who walks into my life leaves with a huge peice of me, and I can’t afford to keep giving peices away, because pretty soon I’ll be left with nothing.
this is a quote I love.
This is your life, so do what you love and do it often. If you dont like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you’re looking for the love of your life, stop. Stop overanalyzing; life is simple. When you eat, enjoy every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Travel often. Get lost and find yourself. Some opertunities only come once, seize them. Life is all about the people you meet and the what you create with them, so go out and start creating. Live your dream and wear your passion. Today will never happen again. Life is short. Live it.
first post. appropriate.
This is Lindsey’s new tumblr.
I was tired of the old me, this is the new me.
I wish I could change everything that easily.
